Jessica Watch in Full Effect, Secret Agents Posted

Sam Hale -NBC5

It is Cowboys mania out in Oxnard and has happy as the fans are for the return of players and coaches, they are really waiting for the arrival of one more star, Jessica Simpson.

I have always loved reporting on the Jessica Simpson – Tony Romo Saga for one reason, and one reason only, it drives traffic to Grant’s Rant. The fact is, I am never afraid to “Pimp” my blog for a little publicity. 

I now have sources placed all over Oxnard ready to call me as soon as the lovely singer arrives.  Any news related to Jessica and Tony, you will find it here on Grant’s Rant thanks to the brave men who agreed to be enlisted for the very important job of “Jessica Watch.”

Agent 1: C.J. Johnson (above):  Not only does he have the eyes of a hawk, but if there is a pretty girl around C.J. will spot her.  And he loves talking on the phone so he’s happy for one more job that gives him a reason to call someone.

Agent 2: Sam Hale (above):  Nicknamed the “Sports Master,” Sam secretly knows the key to Cowboys success is unearthing the truth behind the “Jessica Jinx.”  While producing for sports for Newy, Sam is well aware his first responsibility is actually working as a secret agent on the look out for one lovely singer.

Both Sam and C.J. tell me they have inside sources that tell them, Jessica will arrive on Thursday.  So far both agents tell me Tony has been preforming well at camp.  The first test will be if he can keep it up after his girlfriend arrives.

Tony Romo Wants Carrie Underwood Back?

…. Maybe so, if you believe Jessica Simpson.  Reports are now surfacing that Jessica can get insanely jealous by Tony’s constant communication via, emails and text messages with his ex-girlfriend, Carrie Underwood.

MSNBC quotes a friend of Jessica’s who claims Jessica asked Tony to stop all communication with Carrie Underwood.  Truth is, I can’t blame her.  I wouldn’t be happy if my wife was emailing and texting one of her old boyfriends, especially if he was a millionaire entertainer!

Tony doesn’t need the money, but we are getting close to training camp where he doesn’t need all the distractions either.  Why can’t he just find a nice girl from Garland!

Terrell Owens Now on the “Watch List”

Terrell Owens has been quiet as a church mouse this summer.  No controversy, no outrageous claims, no trouble making, no nothing.  That is until he missed a very important phone call, from the NFL. 

How did he miss that call?

Maybe T.O. was at Yoga class with the phone turned off when the NFL called.  Maybe the ‘212′ number looked very similar to Bill Parcels new cell phone.  Maybe he thought the NFL was calling to see if he could volunteer for a United Way commercial.  It turns out the NFL was calling to schedule a random drug test. 

T.O. missed that test and is now on the NFL’s “reasonable cause” drug testing program.  The big question is: why did T.O. miss that test?  He says the NFL had agent Drerw Rosenhaus’s number and his agent never gave him the message.  But in a word with Texting, Instant Messaging, cell phones, I-Phones, Blackberries, the list goes on, how do you not get the message.  That leaves one last question: Did T.O. miss the test on purpose?

T.O. does have the body of a sculpted Greek statue, he runs faster then the road runner and he does have some emotional ups and downs.  (Remember, “That’s my quarterback man. sniffle sniffle.”)  But I have never seen him show any rage.  My gut tells me T.O. is NOT using any performance enhancing drugs, but he’s not using common sense either.  Next time the NFL calls, just answer the phone!

Cedric Benson, The Next Cowboy?

Seeing that Jerry Jones has become the newest “Father Flanagan” to NFL bad boys, why not sign RB Cedric Benson?  Apparently the now former Bears running back loves Texas.  On Saturday Austin Police arrested Jones for driving while intoxicated.  That arrest came 5 weeks after police arrested him for boating while intoxicated on Lake Travis.

Surely Jerry Jones can turn Benson’s woes around.  He can change the name from “Valley Ranch” to “Jerry’s Home for Troubled Young Adult Millionaires who Play Football.” 

Terrel Owens, Tank Johnson, Pac Man Jones, why not Cedric Benson.  Some fans might say the Cowboys  have all the running back talent they need.  But that’s not the point.  Jerry has a higher calling.  To help and save young men from the trouble they bring on themselves. 

Romo’s New Agent – Daddy Simpson?

NOT!!!

We all know Jessica Simpson’s Dad Joe, has been responsible for cooling off the two lovebirds.  The Boston Herald is now citing a reason!  Joe was pushing to be Tony agent!  He reportedly told The Cowboy superstar with the 67 million dollar contract to dump his current agent Creative Artists Agency and sign with big poppa. 

Jessica, can’t be happy about this, that is unless she was in on the plan all along… hmmmmmmm.

Did the Steroid Dealer Kill Her?

 

Newsmen aren’t supposed to speculate, but bloggers are!  And Grant’s Rant is a blog.  So the big question is: Was the crime in Plano, where police found a steroid dealer and a fitness champion both shot dead, a murder – suicide?  As of 10pm Thursday police are not saying.

My thought as a reporter is, if it was a murder-suicide police would say so right away.  In this case, they did not.  Plano Police all know that David Jacobs was a key figure in both a federal steroid case and the NFL investigation.  Jacobs said he provided two NFL players steroids, including a former Cowboy.  Those players allegedly then went and distributed the drugs to other NFL players.  It’s no secret Jacobs was expected to continue his cooperation with investigators.  That leaves the next question: Was this crime a hit?

My gut tells me, it must be murder-suicide because that’s what it usually is.  We know Jacobs had an on again off again romance with Amanda Earhart Savell.  One of Jacobs friends told me there is no way he is capable of murder, but then again, that’s what most murderers friends say.  That fact is, we will not know for sure what happened until the medical examiner rules on cause of death.  That ruling could come as early as Friday morning.

Clearly Amanda Savell was an inspiration to so many fitness fanatics.  To her fans, her images will live forever on the covers and pages of so many fitness magazines.  I am eager to know if the next picture to appear on this blog associated with this story will be a mug shot of her killer, or if the killers picture is already being shown.

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T.O. Gets His Pop Corn – Jerry Gets his Check Book

I have often compared Jerry Jones to George Steinbrenner.  The two are terrific owners that fans love to hate.  But what ever you say about the two ego maniacs, you can’t say they don’t write the checks needed for success.

Today’s signing of Terrel Owens to a 4 year 34 million dollar deal is the Cowboy’s latest step in securing a Super Bowl Ring.  T.O. is great, he has lived up to the hype and has been a top performer every step of the way.  There is no reason to think he won’t perform again this up-coming season.  Without his success, the Cowboys will be nothing.  If T.O. is great, it means Romo is great, which means every other receiver will have a chance to be great.

Lets all thank Jerry for getting Owens locked in long term.  But Lets also thank all the fans that line Jerry’s pockets year after year.  After all it really is your money ending up in Jerry’s (and T.O.s) bank account.

Pac Man could be “The Man”

NFL bad boy Adam “Pac Man” Jones says he’s a changed man.  Nearly pleading for Cowboys owner Jerry Jones to give him a chance.  I say go for it.  Pac Man is an unbelievable talent, and versatile.  At corner-back, he is a master and would surely improve the Cowboys Defense that often struggles to defend against the pass.

 Jones is also a dangerous return man.  Put the ball in his hands, who knows what can happen.   Do I believe he is a changed man? No, I do not.  But who cares, it’s football, not after school choir.  If he gets into trouble in Dallas then he’s gone.   What ever the Cowboys put up to get Jones is worth the risk of him imploding.

And call me crazy, but I think T.O. can be helpful here.  He has matured and can give Pac Man Jones some guidance.  I never thought I would say T.O. would be a positive influence on a team.  But T.O. is proof people can change.