Tax Rebate Leads to Marital Spat

Without giving away my family’s yearly income, my wife and I should receive around $600.00 for our share of the Economic Stimulus tax rebate package.  That’s money I didn’t have, and I am happy for it. 

But here is the downside.  We filed our taxes jointly, so who gets to spend it?  There are plenty of things I must have now.

A new set of Callaway X-20 Tour Irons with Project X rifle shafts.   Cost $700.00

Tickets to Vegas, Hotel room and Entry into the World Series of Poker Main Event  Cost $15,000

1971 Mercedes 280SL Convertible  Cost $25,000         

That’s a total of $40,700 dollars worth of stuff I need now.  I’m afraid the $600 isn’t going to go very far, especially if my wife and I split our rebate.  I asked my wife Amy if she agreed with my needs.  She didn’t.  She had a list for me, very different then mine.

12 New Boxer shorts to replace the ones with holes in them.  Cost $96.00

12 pairs of dress socks to replace the pairs that are mismatched.  Cost $40.00

1 Haircut (From my man Chris at Salon Orea)  Cost $35.00

1 Light bulb to replace the one above the front door (Energy Efficient) Cost  $6.00

Dog Food for Bella  Cost $55.00

A new Doorbell that doesn’t ring my neighbors doorbell when pressed.  Cost $65.00

Milk (1 Gallon)  Cost  $3.00

Total Cost  $300.00

“Perfect” Amy said, “that leaves me my $300.00 for a pair of Donald Pliner Pumps from Nordstrom.”

The Smart Car

 

One Look at the Smart Car makes you wonder, where are all the circus clowns that go with it?  Drive up to Canyon Creek and they all emerge.  My first response was to laugh at the tiny vehicle that looks more like a wind up toy for Dirk Nowitzki then an actual automobile.  There is no way I would be caught dead driving one of those, I have an image to uphold.  I drive a Hummer H3, which my friends are all quick to point out is actually the girl version of all the Hummer models.  Still, the Smart Car makes my smallish H3 look like an Abrams M1A1 Battle Tank.  While giggling at my good friend Joe Redmond’s sporty new matchbox, I spotted him laughing. 

It turns out he was laughing at all of us.  His new Smart Car gets 45 miles to the gallon, I’m lucky to get 16.  I figured since the Smart Car is so small it can probably only hold two gallons of gas.  I was wrong, it holds 8 gallons.  That’s still 360 miles to the tank full.  Adding the the draw, for the low low price of $14,000 this Eco friendly chick magnet will be a major hit with the ladies of Green Peace.  It’s painted with water soluble paint and it’s classified as an ultra low emissions vehicle.

Being so small, I wondered about safety, especially with the man below driving it.  Look closely, that’s Truman Casey, the same guy who recently drove his golf cart into a pond.  I did check the safety record of the Smart Car and it turns out it did very well in it’s high speed collision test.  Not one bug that slammed into the windshield at 60mph did any damage to the vehicle.  Adding to the Eco friendly image, 9 out of 10 mosquitoes used in the test survived the collision. 

Truth is the Smart Car is made by Mercedes and the company prides itself on safety.  Plus the only other car that generated this much excitement from the Gin Players at Canyon Creek was Joe Redmond’s Bentley.