The Colonial Will Never be the Same

Being a newsman has it’s perks.  One is getting to play golf at the Colonial Country Club in Fort Worth.  Today was the annual media day leading up to the Crown Plaza Invitational.  I could just feel Ben Hogans presence as I was walking up and down those plush fairways… on my way to the woods to find my ball.

When the Tournament starts the PGA Pros will be playing at a distinct disadvantage this year.  I managed to carve out dozens of divots that now look more like moon craters.  When you see Phil Michelson, Jim Furyuk and the rest of the gang hitting out of a tiny sand trap in the middle of the fairway you can thank me for the excitement that is sure to follow.  Old Stinchfield left his mark at Colonial that’s for sure.

I had the distinct pleasure of playing today’s round with “El Capitan” Brad Wright.  Yes, that’s former NBC5 anchorman Brad Wright, now turned Jet Pilot.  The quote of the day was, “God I hate that club!”  He wasn’t talking about his home course, The Colonial, he was talking about his 8 iron after he “chili dipped” it 12 feet in front of him.  (He’s clearly more expereinced at the Publicity photo then me, Brad knew to tilt his hat upwards.  As he later told me, Lighting is everything.) 

The greens were perfect today, not that we hit any.  But when we were putting, the balls rolled faster then a walnut off a hen house roof.  Needless to say, we didn’t make any putts. 

 

The round would have been a major disaster if Floyd Wade (right), the senior member of the group, didn’t put us in play nearly every hole.  We are told Floyd “The Big Banger” Wade is a Colonial staple.  In fact he was the only one who hit the ball with any consistency.  

Ch11 Sports Photographer Bret Kelly (left) was also consistent, with his beer intake.  Actually he made some great swings today.  Unfortunately those swings were all at me when I told him how Ch11 doesn’t have any idea how to put a decent news cast on the air.  I then went on to tell him I aways watch Ch11, especially when I need a good laugh.  He said that’s exactly why he watched me play golf.  It made him feel much better about his game knowing my swing looks just like Arnold Palmer’s, only with out the result old Arnie gets.

In the end we all had fun, so much fun, the Greens Crew will be working over time after the destruction we left behind. 

Note to readers:  Brad is actually a great golfer. (I’m sure the Chili Dip incident only happens once a decade.)