The Flight From Hell (or Sesame Street)

I just flew back from New York today on a jam packed American Airlines flight.  I know families going on vacation have no choice but to bring their kids on board, but why does it always seem the kids need to sit right behind me?  And if they are not behind me they are in front of me. I know I sound like an old curmudgeon but the constant karate kicks to the back of my seat gets old. I am confused by the fact that sitting in an airline seat turns every three year old into Rocky Balboa working over a heavy bag.  And just when the kicking seems to subside, the kid in front of me will start screaming at the top of his lungs.

It appears the worst kids are the little rascals in nursery school. They have just enough of a vocabulary to annoy everyone within 10 rows forward and back.  “What’s that?, Plane! WOW! Mommy,” each word yelled as if they were trying to get the Captains attention behind those closed doors.

Other kids feel the need to taunt every passing cloud with a high pitched screech as if that cloud is some absurd cartoon character on nickelodeon.  The kids need to realize the clouds do not talk back!

I do feel for the parents because the kids, forced to sit for 3 hours, end up acting like Ruprecht the Monkey Boy bouncing all over the place like Steve Martin in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

And forget about babies. They start crying, its all over. Their poor mom knows everyone on the plane is boring holes through her seat.  Annoyed passengers feel as their stares will somehow stop the baby from emitting that awful crying sound that can drown out a jet engine.

I do have a solution, ”family flights.”  What a concept!  The flight attendants can dress up like Sponge Bob or Mickey Mouse.  The only passengers allowed to book seats are those traveling with kids under 10.  The in flight movie can be some bizarre Wiggles film.

Don’t get me wrong, I like kids, especially when they are NOT on my flight!

UPDATE: Airlines Fly With Not Enough Fuel

The story I did on Airline Pilots complaining that their airlines were forcing them to fly with “Minimum Fuel” requirements is now getting national attention.  I am happy MSNBC.COM is featuring the story that has peaked the interest of lawmakers in Washington.

Here’s the deal, with the price of Jet Fuel skyrocketing airlines can save money by carrying less fuel.  It means the plane is lighter and burns less fuel in the process.  But pilots we spoke with insist it is causing many planes to be rerouted and diverted more often.  Their example, when they carry :Minimum Fuel” they don’t have a large enough reserve to circle an airport over and over.  That means they need to land at another airport simply because if they don’t, they will run out of fuel.

That seems unacceptable.  A commercial pilot I spoke with said, “you don’t want to be at minimum fuel, and then not have the landing gear come down.”

At the very least the problem is inconveniencing passengers by forcing them to land at an airport that was not their final destination. 

To watch my story, click here.