How I Plan on Playing Augusta National

As a six handicapper my dreams of makeing the PGA tour are slowly diminishing.  That means my chance of playing my way onto Augusta National, by making the Masters, is also slowly reaching zero.

Since reality has set in, I will have to find a new and creative way to get onto the greastest, most storied, golf course in America.  

My first thought was to just show up, slip the starter a 100 bucks and off I go.  But then I realized the members there actually blow thier noses with 100 dollar bills, so the starter may not be that impressed with my wrinkeled up Benjamin that I had been saving since my last trip to Winstar.

Sneaking onto the course is a possibility, but if I get caught the members probably take me to jail, not the Mens Grill Room. 

Befriending a member is out of the question.  They don’t talk to reporters!  And even though my Net worth qualifies me for a Costco Membership, it may not be up to thier standards.

I figured the only way I make it onto that heavinly track is to become a “Night Member.”  The initiation is free.  Of course there are some membership limitations.  Night Members can’t use the club house, and they can’t tee off on #1 or Finish on #18.  And all Night Members must tee off after dark.  Plus, Night Members don’t get any tickets to the Masters either.  Wearing all black while playing is optional, but highly reccomended.