The Flight From Hell (or Sesame Street)

I just flew back from New York today on a jam packed American Airlines flight.  I know families going on vacation have no choice but to bring their kids on board, but why does it always seem the kids need to sit right behind me?  And if they are not behind me they are in front of me. I know I sound like an old curmudgeon but the constant karate kicks to the back of my seat gets old. I am confused by the fact that sitting in an airline seat turns every three year old into Rocky Balboa working over a heavy bag.  And just when the kicking seems to subside, the kid in front of me will start screaming at the top of his lungs.

It appears the worst kids are the little rascals in nursery school. They have just enough of a vocabulary to annoy everyone within 10 rows forward and back.  “What’s that?, Plane! WOW! Mommy,” each word yelled as if they were trying to get the Captains attention behind those closed doors.

Other kids feel the need to taunt every passing cloud with a high pitched screech as if that cloud is some absurd cartoon character on nickelodeon.  The kids need to realize the clouds do not talk back!

I do feel for the parents because the kids, forced to sit for 3 hours, end up acting like Ruprecht the Monkey Boy bouncing all over the place like Steve Martin in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

And forget about babies. They start crying, its all over. Their poor mom knows everyone on the plane is boring holes through her seat.  Annoyed passengers feel as their stares will somehow stop the baby from emitting that awful crying sound that can drown out a jet engine.

I do have a solution, ”family flights.”  What a concept!  The flight attendants can dress up like Sponge Bob or Mickey Mouse.  The only passengers allowed to book seats are those traveling with kids under 10.  The in flight movie can be some bizarre Wiggles film.

Don’t get me wrong, I like kids, especially when they are NOT on my flight!

Trouble in the Skies, More Like Trouble on the Ground

 

 

As a traveler, it makes me steaming mad that Southwest, American and now Delta Airlines are grounding flights over safety concerns.  What’s going on at these airlines that management would allow safety inspections to slip through the cracks.And what about the FAA.  People are quietly saying FAA inspectors were so close with their airline counterparts that the inspections were just rubber stamped.  I don’t know if that’s true, but it all has me baffled and even confused by what is going on.  We fly in these planes, at 30,000 feet no less!  Our lives are in the airlines hands.  How could they take a chance with safety?  And even if management had no idea FAA safety inspections were not being done properly, that’s nearly just as bad as if they did know, but turned a blind eye.

American says the problem is possibly with wiring in the wheel wells of MD-80s.  Mechanics looking over the planes everyday don’t notice this stuff?  Unreal.

But what really grinds my gears is the fact that American Airlines choose not to comment on camera about all this.  I truly believe American  has an obligation to tell it’s passengers, through the media, what is going on.  When they zip up tighter then Jacque Cousteau’s wet suit, you have to wonder, what are they afraid of, and is there something more going on?